Mon and Dad
Mom and Dad

It’s Christmas time again. 2016 has been an emotionally tough year for myself and the world in general. So many great actors, musicians and artists of all kinds have slipped away. Bowie & Prince, along with many members of the various art communities I frequent, all gone.

In March I lost my Dad. Well, I lost him in the sense that he passed away, but he is ever constant in my thoughts. He’s never been on my mind so much as he is these days. I dream about him at least 2 or 3 nights per week.

Last night I had the most poignant dream. I was a teenager. Dad and I were at a country store and unlike most of my dreams, I didn’t realize that…you know he’s gone and this isn’t reality. Anyways, an old friend happens by and says, “Hey Guy, how have you been?” In that moment it hit me that indeed Dad has died and I’m still essentially hanging out with him in my dreams and thoughts. I told me friend, “Well, I guess I’m ok, but I’m still hanging out with this guy (pointing to my father.)”

I turned to Dad, only now he’s one of my favorite horses from childhood. Actually, he’s turned into a conflation of several of my favorite horses (horses he bought for me, of course). Then, suddenly I’m holding in my arms an iconic mix of all of my dogs, though it looks like a healthy sized boxer bulldog called,”Duke”. I think, well, I can’t get onto the horse holding this fella. So….. Just then, the horse literally kneels down and I just step over onto him, still holding the pooch and he gets up and carries me off.

Talk about symbolic!

I’m sorry for us all, for all we’ve collectively lost, but being a perpetually “sunny side up” kind of person, even in my darkest, I have a sense that to lose, you had to have possessed at some point and in that way you are a lucky man. Many, MANY people never had a great childhood and amazing parents. I did, so I’m blessed.

This Christmas won’t feel right without Dad, but I’ll try to enjoy it and every day to come to the best of my ability.

As the late, great Bob Marley once penned, “Good friends we had and good friends we’ve lost, along the way. In this great future you can’t forget your past, so dry your tears I say. Everything’s gonna be alright.